In discussion with several college and high school students, the primary forms of communication that they use in maintaining relationships are e-mail, cell phones, instant messaging (IM), and text messaging. All of these “new” forms of communication rely on either the internet or wireless technology. They are designed for their ease of use, as well as the ability to communicate anytime and anywhere.

Electronic Mail (E-mail)

According to college students, e-mail has evolved as a useful tool to help aid communication in long distance relationships. After comparing their remarks to those of adults, e-mail has essentially taken the same role as letter writing in previous decades. People send e-mails to their partner as a special occasion rather then an everyday occurrence. When people communicate daily, they use cell phones or instant messenger. E-mail is more in-depth, like written letters, and is therefore not written everyday.

One college male I talked to started dating his girlfriend during the summer while they were both at home. When the school year came and they moved on to separate states, they e-mailed each other almost every day. However, this situation is seemingly not the norm, as most college students confessed to only e-mailing their partners when it seemed ‘necessary.’

The high school students I talked to were split in regards to e-mail. Most of them did not have their own account; therefore, they used their parents’ accounts. Because of this, many were hesitant to write personal e-mail to their boyfriend/girlfriend.

Advantages:

• Able to communicate quickly over long distances
• Easy to edit
• Don’t have to leave home to send
• Can be sent at any time (e-mail doesn’t have to be picked up)
• Able to attach pictures or other documents

Disadvantages:

• Once it’s sent, it’s gone
• People get an abundance of e-mail
• Hard to pick up people’s tone and emotions
• Need a computer with an internet connection

Cellular Phones

Cellular phones, which are commonly referred to as cell phones, have become a key communication tool for couples. Everyone I spoke to, regardless of age, possesses a cell phone. However, each age group has their phone for a different reason.

For the high school students I spoke to, they mostly just use their phone to check in with their parents and arrange plans with their friends. They don’t use their cell phone to carry on conversations with their girlfriend/boyfriend because they see them in school during the day and when they are at home they just use their home phone.

Adults also do not use cell phones for relationship purposes; all the adults I spoke to use their cell phones for either business, personal matters, and for keeping in touch with their children.

According to my research, college students use cell phones in relationships. Most college students do not have a grounded phone in their dorm or apartment, so cell phones represent their main form of communication. Cell phones are used extensively in long distance relationships; the couples that I spoke to that were in long distance relationships told me that they talked every day on the phone for various amounts of time. The people that I spoke to that were in relationships at the same college revealed they didn’t necessarily talk on the phone at great length (although some did), but rather they used their cell phones to arrange dinner, dates, and meetings.


Advantages:

• Able to keep numbers stored in memory
• Can call from anywhere, anytime
• Vibrate/Silent modes for meetings, class, etc.
• Able to communicate quickly over long distances
• Built-in answering machine

Disadvantages:

• Hard to find service
• Easy to lose and/or break
• People always are getting new numbers
• Must be recharged
• “Dropped Calls”

Instant Messaging (IM)

The results I found regarding instant messaging mirror the results of cell phone use. Adults don’t IM each other in their relationship; it is mostly impractical since they live under the same roof.

On the other hand, high school and college students both use IM in relationships. IM is an easy way for high school students to keep in touch while at home. The emergence of wireless internet has allowed a constant internet connection while not tying up the family phone line.

For college students, IM allows couples in long distance relationships another way to communicate, as well as keep track of each other. They are able to talk to each other in real-time, much like people can on the phone. It is also an easy way to setup dates and meal plans, according to some college students.

Advantages:

• Free, as long as you have the internet
• Able to communicate quickly over long distances
• Can receive messages while away
• Able to “block” people
• Can talk to multiple people at once

Disadvantages:

• Need a computer with an internet connection
• Can be too invasive
• Less personal
• Hard to pick up people’s tone and emotions
• Easy to change screen names and ‘lose’ buddies
• Can be easily distracted

Text Messaging

After talking with several high school and college students, I realized that texting does not play a big part in a relationship’s communication. Most of the people did not text, and those that did only used text messages as a way to just leave short messages, such as “I love you” or “Dinner later?” Texting seems as a quick intermediary to other forms of communication.