In discussion with my parents and several other adults, the primary forms of communication that they used in starting and maintaining relationships were letter writing and landline (home) phones. Several college students also used cordless phones to communicate in relationships while growing up.

Letter Writing

For a relationship to survive and thrive, the participants must show compassion and love to their partner. One of the ways to express this emotion is through the use of a letter; to many people this letter is referred to as a “love letter.”

To most of the adults that I spoke to, love letters were an important part of their relationships, whether or not they were in a long distance relationship. Options were limited to communicate, and the use of the love letter became important in improving a relationship and the relationship’s communication. One married couple I spoke to stated that they wrote letters to each other each week while they attended different colleges. They still called each other every night, but writing and receiving letters helped show each other their commitment to each other.

For the college students that I talked to, letter writing is currently being used mostly in long distance relationships. However, the letters aren’t used as regular occurrences. Instead, love letters are more of a special event that occurs to show partners that they will go that extra step for them and put in the extra effort in the relationship.

Love letters are still widely used in the armed forces when soldiers are overseas and have limited or no internet access.

Advantages:

• Usually much more personal than electronic communication
• Shows your commitment through energy and time
• Do not need a computer or the internet
• Well established process that is easy to use and follow
• Materials (stamps, envelopes) are cheap

Disadvantages:

• Hard to edit mistakes
• Takes too much time to handwrite a letter
• Must deliver to a mailbox or post office
• Requires a stamp and envelopes
• Letters can get lost ‘in the mail’
• Addresses can be lost if people move

Household Phones

According to all age groups, phones are a big part of any relationship. For adults, the primary phone used in relationships was household phones with cords. Phones enable couples to communicate when they weren’t together, or when they couldn’t be together due to long distances. One adult female I spoke to stated that she would always talk on the phone to her boyfriend each night before they went to bed, but her phone time was strictly enforced and monitored. She noted that with cell phones, teenagers can be up in bed ‘sleeping,’ but instead they are really just talking to their boyfriend/girlfriend.

Advantages:

• Do not have to leave house
• Phone number usually won’t change
• Home phone numbers are easily accessible
• Good, clear service
• Able to communicate over long distances

Disadvantages:

• Have to stay within feet of the telephone
• Usually only one (sometimes two) telephone lines
• Easy to eavesdrop on conversation
• Can be easily distracted and lose interest in conversation
• Can not be turned off

Cordless Phones

Cordless phones developed almost as an intermediary between corded phones and cell phones. Most college students grew up using the cordless telephone. Most of the students I talked to had time limits on using the phone, mainly due to the fact that most houses only had one phone line. All of these college students also said that while they are at college, they don’t have or use a cordless telephone in their living area. They rely strictly on their cell phones.

The high school students I talked to fell in the middle. All of the high school students have cordless telephones at their house, but most also have cell phones that they use. The general consensus between them was if they were at home, they would use the home phone unless it was in use, and if they were out they would of course use their cell phones.

Advantages:

• Can move throughout house
• Phone number usually won’t change
• Home phone numbers are easily accessible
• Good, clear service
• Able to communicate over long distances

Disadvantages:

• Usually only one (sometimes two) telephone lines
• Easy to eavesdrop on conversation
• Can be easily distracted and lose interest in conversation
• Can not be turned off
• Have to be recharged