Introduction

The Internet affects marriage and relationships in many ways, both good and bad. On one hand, the Internet strengthens relationships by allowing couples to communicate more frequently and easily with each other. On the other hand, the Internet strains relationships by enabling spouses or significant others to pursue other relationships and affairs. Extramarital affairs are nothing new; they occurred long before the Internet came about and would continue if the Internet went away. However, the Internet’s anonymity, privacy, and accessibility enable users to pursue extramarital relationships much more easily. This essay will address the following question: How will the Internet’s evolution over the next 25 years reshape marriages and relationships?

Recent advances in Internet technology illustrate just how fast the technology can change, but such advances also leave Internet users wondering how much further the industry can advance before it reaches its limit. Generally speaking, the Internet is faster and cheaper than ever, but how much faster can it get? The Internet also allows users to stay connected with one another more than before through technologies such as instant messaging, text messaging, blackberry phones, and Facebook—how much more connected can people get? As for marriage and relationships, the Internet allows access to every aspect of such relationships; there are sites for cheaters, sites for counseling, sites for monitoring spouses, sites for dating, sites for divorce advice. Realistically, how much can the Internet evolve in the next 25 years when it comes to relationships?

Argument

Previous futurist works about the Internet like Sherry Turkle’s Life on the Screen made huge assumptions about the effects and future of the Internet that turned out to be very inaccurate. In reality, the Internet changes gradually and though it may magnify existing social situations, it does not create social situations. Over the next 25 years, the marriage and relationship aspects of the Internet will not change drastically. Instead, the aspects I discussed in my ethnography (including online infidelity, counseling, and monitoring) will be modified and updated to make them more reliable and easier to use. As the following paragraphs will show, though the sites themselves will be more reliable and easier to use, that does not mean cheating will become easier—because with the enhancement of cheating websites will come the advancement of spyware and monitoring technology aimed at catching cheaters.

Twenty-five years from now, online dating will be the norm. The children of people who met online in the 1990’s and early 2000’s will be dating online in 2032. These people will have grown up knowing that online match-ups can work and will have no problem using online dating sites themselves. People will trust that their online dating sites monitor members for accuracy of profiles, marriage status, and criminal backgrounds, and online dating sites will want to monitor members because it will make their other customers happy. As I learned in my ethnography, some dating sites already monitor members for marital status and criminal history; in twenty-five years, this will be the norm rather than the exception.

Some people will always be looking for extramarital relationships, and because mainstream dating sites will monitor members, these people will set up their own sites specifically for cheaters. These sites will be “underground”; that is, difficult to find unless a person is told about the site or is very proficient at searches. Such sites will be less trustworthy than mainstream dating sites because they will not have the same level of monitoring and safeguards as the other sites. Members of these sites will not want the same level of monitoring; they’ll want the freedom that comes with little or no restrictions. In addition, these sites will protect against spyware to help online cheaters hide their infidelity from their significant others.

The competition between the anti-spyware technology on these sites and the demand for spyware that can break through anti-spyware technology will create incredibly powerful spyware programs. Spouse-monitoring programs will become an industry niche that will be ever-changing as anti-spyware technology evolves. For cheaters, the threat of a new spyware that will catch any cheater will always be out there and may even deter some spouses and significant others from cheating.

Online marriage counseling will also evolve in the next twenty-five years. Today’s marriage counseling sites consist of articles about marriage issues, self-help guides, discussion boards, and directories of marriage counselors. Twenty-five years from now, marriage counseling sites will be interactive sites that combine everything from today’s sites with video counseling. Such video counseling will come in many forms. Members will be able to have live video counseling sessions with certified marriage counselors. If members feel uncomfortable being counseled in such a direct way, members can view pre-recorded videos addressing common marriage problems. In addition, members can read articles, post to the discussion boards, and make appointments to see counselors in person. Such innovations in counseling will allow busy spouses to seek the counseling they need in a manner that best fits their lives.

For those couples who feel that no amount of counseling can save their marriage, the Internet will also change divorce proceedings. Couples who want a quick and clean divorce will be able to fill out an online questionnaire about what each person seeks in the divorce; that questionnaire will be reviewed by a lawyer and drafted into a divorce settlement. The couple will be able to their enter social security numbers online to finalize the divorce; if the couple does not feel comfortable finalizing the divorce online, they can make an appointment to sign the pre-drafted document in person.

Once divorced, people will start dating again, and many people will use online dating sites. Some sites will be directed to recently divorced members; these sites will be popular because members will know that their previous divorce is not a secret in their new relationships. Online dating will take some stress out of dating after divorce. Whichever sites these divorcees use, they will be reliable, like the mainstream dating sites discussed previously.

Conclusion

Many futurist essays of the 1990’s predicted that the Internet would decrease in-person interaction; if anything, the Internet actually increased personal contact by allowing people to stay in touch through the Internet. With this futurist essay, I tried not to make sweeping predictions about the Internet ruining marriages and cutting off people from person-to-person contact. The Internet actually allows more avenues for contact than ever before, and I tried to reflect that in my predictions. The Internet will not drastically change marriages—people will still meet, marry, and stay married with or without the Internet. What the Internet does allow is ways for people to deal with the stresses that come with every marriage. Some people will always tend towards cheating, and the Internet is one way those people can cheat. Other people will need counseling, and the Internet allows them to pursue counseling without forcing them into uncomfortable therapy sessions.

Though my predictions may seem conservative, they accurately reflect the relationship between humans and the Internet. The Internet does not create certain types of people—those people already exist, and the Internet just becomes an outlet for them. The Internet will not ruin marriage as an institution in the next twenty-five years. The Internet will simply evolve into a more mature way to express oneself and one’s relationships in whatever way is fitting.