• Able to communicate over long distances with relative ease
• Cost and time effective
• Quicker communication

Letter Writing

For a relationship to survive and thrive, the participants must show compassion and love to their partner. One of the ways to express this emotion is through the use of a letter; to many people this letter is referred to as a “love letter.”

To most of the adults that I spoke to, love letters were an important part of their relationships, whether or not they were in a long distance relationship. Options were limited to communicate, and the use of the love letter became important in improving a relationship and the relationship’s communication. One married couple I spoke to stated that they wrote letters to each other each week while they attended different colleges. They still called each other every night, but writing and receiving letters helped show each other their commitment to each other.

For the college students that I talked to, letter writing is currently being used mostly in long distance relationships. However, the letters aren’t used as regular occurrences. Instead, love letters are more of a special event that occurs to show partners that they will go that extra step for them and put in the extra effort in the relationship.

Love letters are still widely used in the armed forces when soldiers are overseas and have limited or no internet access.

Advantages:

• Usually much more personal than electronic communication
• Shows your commitment through energy and time
• Do not need a computer or the internet
• Well established process that is easy to use and follow
• Materials (stamps, envelopes) are cheap

Disadvantages:

• Hard to edit mistakes
• Takes too much time to handwrite a letter
• Must deliver to a mailbox or post office
• Requires a stamp and envelopes
• Letters can get lost ‘in the mail’
• Addresses can be lost if people move

Household Phones

According to all age groups, phones are a big part of any relationship. For adults, the primary phone used in relationships was household phones with cords. Phones enable couples to communicate when they weren’t together, or when they couldn’t be together due to long distances. One adult female I spoke to stated that she would always talk on the phone to her boyfriend each night before they went to bed, but her phone time was strictly enforced and monitored. She noted that with cell phones, teenagers can be up in bed ‘sleeping,’ but instead they are really just talking to their boyfriend/girlfriend.

Advantages:

• Do not have to leave house
• Phone number usually won’t change
• Home phone numbers are easily accessible
• Good, clear service
• Able to communicate over long distances

Disadvantages:

• Have to stay within feet of the telephone
• Usually only one (sometimes two) telephone lines
• Easy to eavesdrop on conversation
• Can be easily distracted and lose interest in conversation
• Can not be turned off

Cordless Phones

Cordless phones developed almost as an intermediary between corded phones and cell phones. Most college students grew up using the cordless telephone. Most of the students I talked to had time limits on using the phone, mainly due to the fact that most houses only had one phone line. All of these college students also said that while they are at college, they don’t have or use a cordless telephone in their living area. They rely strictly on their cell phones.

The high school students I talked to fell in the middle. All of the high school students have cordless telephones at their house, but most also have cell phones that they use. The general consensus between them was if they were at home, they would use the home phone unless it was in use, and if they were out they would of course use their cell phones.

Advantages:

• Can move throughout house
• Phone number usually won’t change
• Home phone numbers are easily accessible
• Good, clear service
• Able to communicate over long distances

Disadvantages:

• Usually only one (sometimes two) telephone lines
• Easy to eavesdrop on conversation
• Can be easily distracted and lose interest in conversation
• Can not be turned off
• Have to be recharged

Electronic Mail (E-mail)

According to college students, e-mail has evolved as a useful tool to help aid communication in long distance relationships. After comparing their remarks to those of adults, e-mail has essentially taken the same role as letter writing in previous decades. People send e-mails to their partner as a special occasion rather then an everyday occurrence. When people communicate daily, they use cell phones or instant messenger. E-mail is more in-depth, like written letters, and is therefore not written everyday.

One college male I talked to started dating his girlfriend during the summer while they were both at home. When the school year came and they moved on to separate states, they e-mailed each other almost every day. However, this situation is seemingly not the norm, as most college students confessed to only e-mailing their partners when it seemed ‘necessary.’

The high school students I talked to were split in regards to e-mail. Most of them did not have their own account; therefore, they used their parents’ accounts. Because of this, many were hesitant to write personal e-mail to their boyfriend/girlfriend.

Advantages:

• Able to communicate quickly over long distances
• Easy to edit
• Don’t have to leave home to send
• Can be sent at any time (e-mail doesn’t have to be picked up)
• Able to attach pictures or other documents

Disadvantages:

• Once it’s sent, it’s gone
• People get an abundance of e-mail
• Hard to pick up people’s tone and emotions
• Need a computer with an internet connection

Cellular Phones

Cellular phones, which are commonly referred to as cell phones, have become a key communication tool for couples. Everyone I spoke to, regardless of age, possesses a cell phone. However, each age group has their phone for a different reason.

For the high school students I spoke to, they mostly just use their phone to check in with their parents and arrange plans with their friends. They don’t use their cell phone to carry on conversations with their girlfriend/boyfriend because they see them in school during the day and when they are at home they just use their home phone.

Adults also do not use cell phones for relationship purposes; all the adults I spoke to use their cell phones for either business, personal matters, and for keeping in touch with their children.

According to my research, college students use cell phones in relationships. Most college students do not have a grounded phone in their dorm or apartment, so cell phones represent their main form of communication. Cell phones are used extensively in long distance relationships; the couples that I spoke to that were in long distance relationships told me that they talked every day on the phone for various amounts of time. The people that I spoke to that were in relationships at the same college revealed they didn’t necessarily talk on the phone at great length (although some did), but rather they used their cell phones to arrange dinner, dates, and meetings.


Advantages:

• Able to keep numbers stored in memory
• Can call from anywhere, anytime
• Vibrate/Silent modes for meetings, class, etc.
• Able to communicate quickly over long distances
• Built-in answering machine

Disadvantages:

• Hard to find service
• Easy to lose and/or break
• People always are getting new numbers
• Must be recharged
• “Dropped Calls”

Instant Messaging (IM)

The results I found regarding instant messaging mirror the results of cell phone use. Adults don’t IM each other in their relationship; it is mostly impractical since they live under the same roof.

On the other hand, high school and college students both use IM in relationships. IM is an easy way for high school students to keep in touch while at home. The emergence of wireless internet has allowed a constant internet connection while not tying up the family phone line.

For college students, IM allows couples in long distance relationships another way to communicate, as well as keep track of each other. They are able to talk to each other in real-time, much like people can on the phone. It is also an easy way to setup dates and meal plans, according to some college students.

Advantages:

• Free, as long as you have the internet
• Able to communicate quickly over long distances
• Can receive messages while away
• Able to “block” people
• Can talk to multiple people at once

Disadvantages:

• Need a computer with an internet connection
• Can be too invasive
• Less personal
• Hard to pick up people’s tone and emotions
• Easy to change screen names and ‘lose’ buddies
• Can be easily distracted

Text Messaging

After talking with several high school and college students, I realized that texting does not play a big part in a relationship’s communication. Most of the people did not text, and those that did only used text messages as a way to just leave short messages, such as “I love you” or “Dinner later?” Texting seems as a quick intermediary to other forms of communication.